those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
