But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
