Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
