they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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