I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
