After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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