I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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