My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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