Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
