U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
