I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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