My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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