from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
