I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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