Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
