There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
