reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
