If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
