Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
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