She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
