Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
