I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize