So drunk, too bad you don't want this
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You are the jesus of drinking
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
