the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
