Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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