absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Acid is not a monday night drug
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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