why didn't you poke me back
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
