hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
