we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
