i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
