just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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