So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
