6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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