I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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