Sacagawea was the original milf.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize