last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
