She said her name was "party"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
