This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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