we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize