I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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