Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
