This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
