Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
