im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
