Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
