im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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