i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
how drunk are you?
Several
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
