8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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