I cockslap morals
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize