I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
