Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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