We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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