sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
