you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
