I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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