Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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