You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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