You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
