Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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