Sry I called you an 8
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
