where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
