the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
