There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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