At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
