hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
