You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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